Handicapping Survivor: Mirconesia February 8, 2008
Posted by bluenoser in survivor, survivor micronesia.Tags: fans vs favourites, micronesia, survivor
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If the Super Bowl is over, that must mean another episode of Survivor has begun. I’ve given up trying to predict what will happen, but can guarantee that Natalie will not win. Why? I gave her the kiss of death by picking her in the office pool.
What I can do is choose who I’m cheering for to win. How? By making assumptions about these complete strangers based on a photo and a brief profile. Hopefully my homework will help you make a blind assumption, too!
Have fun watching the show, and may the tribe speak clearly to you!
Fans
Why root for her: She lists Shakespeare as her favourite author and also likes travel magazines. She’s either very diverse or a good liar; either one is good for this game.
Why root against her: She cheers for the USC Trojans.
Burning question: Is it strange that an apparently huge Survivor fan would not mention the show among her favourite TV programs?
Why root for him: He’s an animal lover who has rescued dozens of otherwise doomed pets. It’s tough not to root for a guy like that.
Why root against him: He coaches beauty pageant contestands, which is fine, but I want him gone the minute he starts talking like Miss Teen South Carolina.
Burning question: If he’s around long enough, is a Miss Survivor: Micronesia pageant inevitable?
Why root for him: Anyone who lists “beer pong” as a favourite sport to play has to have at least some personality.
Why root against him: He says he can be a leader or a follower. I just sense he could be one of those “alliance doormats” (read: Denise from Survivor: China) who remains loyal, only to be rewarded with a 4th or 5th place finish.
Burning question: He studies religion and works in Hell, Michigan. Is that funny or should I be afraid of him?
Why root for him: He seems like a bright enough guy and he does volunteer work with kids, so that’s cool.
Why root against him: He’s previously worked as a nude model, so he must be comfortable with that sort of thing. I really don’t want to see anyone pull a Richard Hatch during the show.
Burning question: He studied Spanish in school, as did Alexis. Mary has lived in Equador. Will the SAP service on my TV become obsolete by the end of the show?
Why root for him: He’s a fireman and a committed family guy.
Why root against him: It goes against the nature of a guy from the Pacific Northwest to cheer for anyone who went to Arizona State University.
Burning question: He looks like a big, strong guy. Could there be some epic challenge showdowns between Joel and James?
Why root for her: Maybe rooting for a golf course worker will give me good karma on the links this summer. I need all the help I can get.
Why root against her: If she makes the merge, she’ll get to help name the new tribe. The woman named her dog Wilson Von Barkypants. ‘Nuff said.
Burning question: One of her favourite scents is gasoline. Will we see during the game if she’s maybe sniffed a little too much of it?
Why root for her: She works in real estate in the United States. The way the housing market is right now, I may have to root for her out of sympathy.
Why root against her: She’s a Raider fan. Then again, that may mean that I’ll have to root for her out of sympathy.
Burning question: She says she will win because she is “able to put people together”. Does that mean we’ll see an immunity challenge involving Mr. Potato Head?
Why root for him: Looking at his profile, he may have that endearing “average joe” quality.
Why root aginst him: He’s a fan of Boston sports teams. If you haven’t been around one lately, they can be quite annoying.
Burning question: Like Kathleen, one of his favourite scents is gasoline. Did Mark Burnett hold his tryouts at a Texaco station or something?
Why root for her: Easy–she’s my pick in the office Survivor pool. I’ll be rooting for her for financial reasons.
Why root against her: One word she uses to describe herself is “bitchy”. That’s a trait that can get you voted out of the game in a hurry.
Burning question: What kind of person lists sweating among her favourite pastimes?
Why root for her: Just like Mary, she works in real estate. She may need the million dollars more than anybody else.
Why root against her: If her favourites page is any indication, I won’t understand a word she says.
Burning question: Liontaming as a favourite pastime? Are you kidding me?
Favourites
Amanda (Survivor: China)
Why root for her: She didn’t win, but you have to respect how well she played in China.
Why root against her: My Survivor pet peeve is people who don’t abandon their alliance when it’s clear they can’t win with it. That was Amanda’s mistake in China.
Burning question: She and James got to know each other very well in China. Will she see James as an ally or someone to vote out quickly?
Ami (Vanuatu)
Why root for her: You have to respect anyone who sticks their neck out and actually plays the game, as Ami did in Vanuatu.
Why root against her: The leader of the female alliance came of as a little too arrogant for my liking.
Burning question: Eliza is the one that shattered Ami’s stranglehold on the game in Vanuatu. Time for a little revenge?
Cirie (Panama)
Why root for her: It’s easy to root for Cirie, Survivor’s “ultimate underdog”.
Why root against her: If she plays the whole underdog act up again in Micronesia, it could get old un a hurry.
Burning question: Cirie’s so darn likeable, and she lost 30 pounds after learing she was going to be on this show. Can a commercial with Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli be far behind?
Eliza (Vanuatu)
Why root for her: I’ve had a soft spot for her ever since she broke up the “all-girl” alliance in Vanuatu.
Why root against her: As long as she never speaks, there’s no real reason.
Burning question: After she back-stabbed her allinace last time, can she be trusted?
James (China)
Why root for him: James is easy to cheer for as it is. The fact that Rocky is among his favourite movies shows he’s got taste, too.
Why root against him: He’s a good guy and a physical threat, but he hasn’t proven that he has much of a game, as his immunity idol gaffe illustrated.
Burning question: How did this big tough guy, a grave digger who owns a pit bull, get hooked on The Young and the Restless?
Jonathan (Cook Islands)
Why root for him: He’s smart, plays to win and his commentary is gold.
Why root against him: He’s a little mouthy and arrogant for some people’s tastes (not mine, mind you).
Burning question: Jonathan is ready and willing to speak his mind. That’s great television, but can he hold his tongue and stay out of the doghouse this time?
Jonny Fairplay (Panama)
Why root for him: Every good show needs a good villain. Can you think of a better one?
Why root against him: Are you kidding? He’s Jonny freaking Fairplay!
Burning question: Which relative is going to suddenly die this time around?
Ozzy (Cook Islands)
Why root for him: Is there anyone you would rather watch in a challenge than Ozzy?
Why root against him: I personally don’t like someone making it to the end of the game based only on their strength in challenges, like Ozzy did in the Cook Islands.
Burning question: How in the name of David Blaine can anyone hold their breath underwater for 3 minutes?
Parvati (Cook Islands)
Why root for her: She’s a boxer, so if Fairplay annoys her enough, Survivor fans may see the beatdown we’ve been waiting for.
Why root against her: I’m not a big fan of the whole “flirt to get ahead” strategy she used in the Cook Islands.
Burning question: I didn’t realize she was a Survivor favourite. Is she really?
Yau-Man (Fiji)
Why root for him: I have a soft spot for the older contestants, and what’s not to like about Yau-Man?
Why root against him: I don’t know how you could. I would almost feel bad if I did.
Burning question: Yau-Man’s “Mr. Nice Guy” routine won’t work twice in a row. Does he have enough wrinkles in his game to see him through this time?
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