Reality TV

Ding, ding, ding!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Michael Buffer welcoming you to exotic Micronesia!  CBS, Mark Burnett and Jeff Probst are prout to present 60 mintues of heavyweight Survivor boxing, separated into 2 epic main events!

Our first bout is a battle for the title of “Alpha fan”.  Introducing first, the current title holder.  He stole tribal control away in week 2, stunning tonight’s challenger by stabbing him in the back and taking over the game.  He can intimidate with his brains, his size, and that huge tattoo on his arm!  Please welcome, from the fighting city of Phoenix, Arizona, the current Alpha faaaan……Joel Annnnnndersonnnnn!  And his opponent, the former title holder from Boston, Mass.  Joel not only took his title in week 2, but his girlfriend was voted out of the game in the process.  Now tonight’s challenger has vowed to cut Joel’s head off, avenge his girlfriend’s ouster and regain his title.  Here is tonight’s challengerrrrrrr…..Mikey “what’s the deal with the ticket stub tattoo?” Beeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our second main event is a grudge match on Malakal.  A betrayal among former allies has left them on opposite sides of the tribe.  Their confrontation at tribal council last Thursday night was just a precursor to this week’s epic battle.  Introducing first, the current champion.  She took her swing vote last week and lashed it out against her former alliance, betraying them and making her the reigning power player in the tribe.  She hails from Jersey City, New Jersey…..Cirieeeeeeeeee Fieeeeeeeeelds!  And her opponent: after he lost his grip on the game last week, he’s behind the 8-ball and fighting for his life.  He will use his words and street smarts in an attempt to wrestle back control from the alliance of love.  Originally from New York City!  The challenger!  Jonathan “Yes, Jeff, I have a first name” Pennnnnnerrrrrr!

And now….for the millions watching at home.  For the hundreds of crew members on the island.  And for the dozens of you reading this blog……LLLLLLLET’S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stay tuned this Friday for a recap of this week’s show!  May the tribe speak clearly to you!