Reality TV

One of the things that just blows me away is how many people that Piers actually knows.  You say this week’s challenge is organizing a charity golf tournament?  He’ll call his good buddy Tiger Woods.  Is it a fashion show this week?  He’s got Tommy Hilfiger on speed dial.  Are they selling tickets to a show at a strip club?  He knows the Governor of New York.  Yes, he’s doing well on the show but the people behind Betamax could have succeeded in business if they had Piers’ contacts.  This week the final five have to sell sandwiches.  I wonder who Piers will be calling for help this time…..

“Hello, Jared!  Piers Morgan here!  How’s everything going?…….You’ve been milking that whole “I lost weight eating Subway sandwiches” gig for 10 freaking years now?  How time flies!  Listen, Jared, I’m selling sandwiches for charity on Celebrity Apprentice and I was wondering if I could count on your support…….Really?  You’ll take one?  Great!  How much can you spare?…….$10,000?  Really?   Great!  Thanks, Jared!”

“Hello, Mr. Quizno?  Piers Morgan!  How the devil are you?…….Yes, I’m still on Celebrity Apprentice.  Funny you should ask…..I’m selling sandwiches and I need your help or I might just get fired this week…….you will?  You’ll sell my sandwiches in your stores all day long and give me the proceeds?……You’re going to buy the first one for $25,000?………Wonderful!  Thanks so much!”

“Okay, don’t hang up.  It’s me.  I know we’ve had our differences but I can really use your help here.  I’m selling sandwiches for charity and I may get fired if I don’t outsell the other team.  Can you find it in your heart to bury the hatchet and support me?  All the proceeds go to charity, after all……You’ll buy one for $75,000?  Fantastic!…………One condition?  Name it!…………Dinner at your apartment Friday night?  Omarosa, you little flirt….it’s a date!  Thanks, dear!  See you soon!”

Find out the details about who Piers asks for help, along with all the rest of this week’s action, in my recap on Friday!  Enjoy!