Reality TV

At one point during last night’s finale, Piers shook Trace’s hand and said “May the best man win, and may both of our charities make a lot of money”.  I think Piers was right on both counts.

The highlight of the charity auction to me was Trace participating in the Backstreet Boys scavenger hunt.  Yes, Piers had a controversial strategy to get the guests as drunk as possible as quickly as possible, but that can’t compete with a 6′7″ self-described very heterosexual cowboy scrambling for a knee brace, black nail polish and wheatgrass juice..”for a man”.  He didn’t ever find the wheatgrass juice, but 2 out of 3 isn’t bad.  If you haven’t had a chance to hear Trace comment on his scavenger hunt, you’ve got to hear it.  I can’t really do it justice, but trust me–it’s funny stuff.

Piers and Trace both did as they predicted.  Piers easily won the money portion of the competition thanks to his rich contacts.  He raised about $414,000 on the night to Trace’s $76,000.  However, when you consider that $300,000 of Piers’ donations came from 2 rich contacts, the numbers are much closer.  Trace easily won the ticket sales and looked to have won on presentation/entertainment, making this task as a whole a lot closer than the final dollars would have you believe.

From the charity auction it was on to the boardroom, where the fired contestants returned and the Celebrity Apprentice would be named.  Frankly I was a little disappointed by this segment–I was really hoping that they would give the fired contestants more a chance to verbally spar with Piers and Trace, sort of like the jury does on Survivor. 

The highlight for me was Carol telling Donald that she deserved a spot in the final two.  I think she has a really strong case, so that was good for me to hear.  The lowlight was Omarosa, who had weeks to think of a clever insult for Piers for the finale.  What does she come up with?  She doesn’t like him because he doesn’t floss his teeth.  That thud you hear is her joke flopping.  Is that the best she could do???  Gene Simmons waving hello from Tokyo was funnier than you were.  I know I’ve said Omarosa should find a new line of work if she can’t win “her” game against a group of celebrities.  I now know that job is not to write for David Letterman.     

I was also surprised that the winner was announced right at the end of the night.  I would have liked to get some reaction from Piers, Trace and the others about Trump’s decision.  It’s almost like Trump was late for a date.  He just blurted out “Piers, you’re the Celebrity Apprentice” and then abruptly ended the show.  It was a tad disappointing for me.

Let me say before I continue that I love Trace Adkins.  I hope he raises tons of money for his charity, that his daughter gets better and that he has 100 more #1 singles in a career longer than his hair.  Bottom line, though, is that Trump made the right call for this game.  As Piers said, this is not a nice guy competition–it’s a business and fund raising competition.  Nobody did it better than Piers.  He could have played better with others, but what did he do that was so evil?  He played hard and ruthless, but didn’t step over the line.  His team won 9 times out of 11 and he raised more money for his charity than the rest of the contestants combined.  This was a slam dunk.  As he said–The best man won and both charities made a lot of money.

So, that’s The Celebrity Apprentice.  I was quite surprised how much I enjoyed it, to be honest, and I can’t wait to write about The Celebrity Apprentice 2.  I hope you’ll be reading!