Reality TV

Eliza Orlins, always a favourite of mine for the way she played during Survivor: Vanuatu, sadly was ousted from the show this week.  She is the first memeber of the jury, this of course was not her plan at the beginning of the show.  She and Jason were going to pull off the most stunning move in Survivor history–they were going to take out Ozzy.  They didn’t manage to do that, but they did make this episode one of the funniest in Survivor history.  That, in my humble opinion, entitles Eliza to a tribute song.  And who better to sing it than the one and only Tom Jones?  To the tune of Delilah, here goes nothing.  Apologies in advance to Tom for butchering one of his classics:

. 

After the tribes merged Amanda saw something disturbing.  She saw Alexis was getting too close to her man.  She wanted Ozzy!
Now she’s a garget Amanda will oust when she can.

Bye, bye, bye, Eliza!
Cry, cry, cry, Eliza!                                                                                    You’re disbarred, the tribe chose you to discard.
When you’re without an alliance the fight is too hard. 

Jason came by and he thought he would try to protect you                              He said if he won the challenge his idol was yours.       
You stood there laughing.
You would betray the Ozzfather, revenge would be served!

Bye, bye, bye,Eliza!                                                                                      Cry, cry, cry,Eliza!                                                                                         This could be                                                                                              some Survivor history!                                                                            Voting out Ozzy would turn the whole game on its ear!

To see immunity one had to stay underwater.                                             Ozzy looked to be a lock, but Jason surprised.                                             He won the challenge!                                                                                   But when he gave you his stick you met your demise.

Bye, bye, bye, Eliza!  Cry, cry, cry, Eliza!
You could see that stick’s not immunity.
Forgive him, Eliza, ’cause Jason’s not smart as can be.

At Tribal Council your foes said a mouthful about you                                     You played your stick but Jeff just threw it into the fire.
Ozzy was laughing!
Soon you were ousted, the tribe now has spoken to you:

Bye, bye, bye, Eliza!
Cry, cry, cry, Delilah!
You will be the first one on the jury.
Forgive them Eliza they just couldn’t take you no more!
Forgive them Eliza they just couldn’t take you no more!

. 

Stay tuned next week for another round of power rankings, previews and recaps!  May the tribe speak clearly to you!